bang bang, my baby shot me down~

yea, this is the ASE YA cell. uni students to just-stared-working-20+yr-olds.

oh, n plus uncle jerry.

ages 20-30.

n this is what we do during games week.

NERF war

Mr subaru, Mr cirocco, Mr Jaguar, Mr focus, Mr mercedes, Mr chevrolet n Ms vespa-to-be...

i think e poeima youth have more mature games :p

Shawn n i were supposed to organize, but i lazy, so e plan was just to get all sorts of yummy stuff to the Khans n play 'games'.

mark, fuwen n i were e 1st to reach his place. we had to wait in e car.... biang...

even Shawn Shepherd's pie arrived faster than him.

poor delivery guy, after a while, fuwen decided to take e pie 1st.

oh, talking abt that, according to Shawn, we could not just buy anythin we liked,

afterall its a CELL GROUP....so....

even the food had to have some scripture verse to them.

but knowing e guys, all e scripture verses were.. um.... lets just say: not used appropriately

eg...

shepherds pie--> The Lord is my Shepherd, i shall not be in want (Ps23)

sio bak--> the priest shall offer up the fat..(Lev 7:3)

n guess what is kueh pie tie? totally ridiculous....

filial piety.

ahhhhh... darn fulllll.... dont know how much i ate, noodles, abt 3 bowls, half e pack of rojak... bag of ruffles... fried rice... etc

but dont like all e sio bak, duck... so oily!!!

fuwen calls it liquid gold.

liquid poison more like it.

full stomach=tired. nitey.

almost lover

did i make it that easy for you to walk in and out of my life?

a qn i always wanted to ask you but i'm not sure i would want to know the answer. its a qn tt has long lost its moment, but it still bugs me from time to time.

we were not quite...anything. not quite ... anything. there really isnt a word to describe it.

on the surface we are still friends... i guess. and tho hints of the old times do surface, i guess its better this way.






Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind, images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes, clever trick

Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me in the shade
And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you would never ever forget these images, no

Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot try the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind

So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine
Did I make it that easy to walk
Right in and out of my life?

Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Why can't you just let me be?

So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

rise of Christ in China

its been quite a while since i read e whole newspaper so somehow it took Marcos to tell me abt it before i frantically fished it out of the recycling pile. if i still had pets, confirm wld have become their bedding liao.

this is GOLD. i was totally beaming as i read thru it even though a part of my mind was wondering if the writers and editor were christian.

i mean, it took 7 pages of the Saturday paper.

of course its an intriguing read. facts that are of interest to people from all walks of life, be they Christian or not, Chinese or not.

page 2

page 4&5

page 6&7

it reminds me of Nepal, Janakpur, and in particular the Maithili. when we went there last month, the biggest take home was the people's fervency and resilience in a society and environment which is alot more difficult that what we have here in Singapore.

bikau just sent an email to us detailing the conversion of two more families to Christ after a healing miracle of one of the man's leg. i only briefly skimmed thru e email cos i was on the mrt and i had like 100+++ mails to read... but my instant thought was: why dont i see that in my church? why dont i see that in my life?

and reading abt the Church in China growing, 5 turning to 50, in the snow, with no roof.
people singing with gusto but in hushed tones so as not to provoke neighbors...
and, well, i dont see growth around me. we in our air-coned hall. maybe i'm blind, maybe growth is not just in numbers, maybe, maybe, maybe we're too comfortable.

maybe i'm too comfortable. i am.
i dont deny that i'm born V privileged. i knew that even before Nepal smacked me in e face.

but nv have i been so embarrassed abt having all that i have.
and jealous abt not having what these Christians in Nepal and China have.

where is my treasure?
the book Being a Contagious Christian has something interesting in Chapter 2...
it suggested putting "soon to be burned" on possessions.
that includes talents, looks, smarts, career, bgrs, , ,
and ... people whom i love.

it is urgent.

Jesus in the rice fields, Jesus in the office, Jesus in the home.
is it like that for me? well, i do try, just need to try... erm... harder.

i could not find any online version of the article, so here's e close-ups for those who want to read them :)

page 2.1

2.2

3.1

3.2

4.1

4.2

5.1

5.2

6.1,6.2

7.1

7.2,7.3

white trash

just came back from sending Joanne, Evan n Yeeps off at Changi airport T3.

Joanne n Evan's going back to US to start another term in ... shoot, i forgot the degree's name.... school of supernatural sciences or sth like tt.

my mind's on something else.

fuwen bought a bike, white trash.

no, thats what he calls it, white trash. dont have a pic of it but looks smth like tt...

white trash.

i dont know why it gets on my nerves, i mean, its gorgeous n all...

wait, i know why it gets on my nerves. cos he does not want it n wants e vespa i rejected instead.

an aquaintance's aquaintance wanted to get me my dream bike (once i get on w actually finishing my lessons) ... a baby blue vespa. but i declined cos.. well cos its too big a present from someone i dont know well.

but its a vespa~~~~~ waaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!

n its baby blue~~WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa!!!!!

so yeah, i'm glad fuwen has bruises n scratches on his calf from kickstarting his bike.

gonna be a Mac snob

decided to start blogging again.

havent even visited my blog in a loooong while. mainly cos i've been so busy.

Birthdays,,, weddings,,, church camp,,, Nepal,,, jimbo n gang,,, the list goes on~

even when i'm free, i'd rather kinda laze infront of e comp watching youtube :p

well, talking abt comp, i'm gonna get a mac book pro. yeah, i'm gonna be a Mac snob.

not a mactard yet.... yet.

resisted for a while but ah crap, its chio n its video n pic editing is much better so i guess i can put up w getting used to something new.

came across these AWESOME decals!

just waiting for my ladies card to be approved den i go NUS buy :)

if it makes you happy

i've seen him around the condo a couple of times but never even said hi. then this morn i happened to walk past him ...... him: you know happiness is mentally healthy. me: (i had just finished my jog) i'm happy when i run.... him: have you happy ppl mentally stressed? hapiness is accepting things and not dwelling on them. me: er, yeah, thanks for e tip.

irony of having a social phone but no social life

I'm on e way to work and blogging at the same time ! tho its taking me like ages to get even one sentance done ... not that easy w dexter as compared to e jedi council. yeah, for those of you who forgot or just din know yet, i name all my electronics. erm, ok, i havent figured out how to make a new line so this post's gonna be in one loooong paragraph. i can put in alot of spaces tho ok, lame. 30min to get to work n i've been typinh all e way, seriously, this' my social life. figured i might as well make use of what i've got. dexter's good company, he plays music, surfs e net for me, checks my emails, messages and collates e interesting ones for me, plays games .... he's even stubborn like me! oh gosh... i'm turning into an otaku... ok, reached clinic. gtg, but will be back tmr!

Mmmm whatcha say

Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmm that you only meant well?
well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmmm that it's all for the best?
of course it is
Mmmm whatcha say?
Mmmm that it's just what we need
you decided this
whatcha say?
Mmmm what did she say?

change


ransom notes keep falling out your mouth
mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut outs
speak no feeling no I don't believe you
you don't care a bit,
you don't care a bit

____________________________________________
there's nothing more to say, so just let it be. and lets be friends.
____________________________________________

change topic.

i just came back from uncle robert ong's wake.
Jeremy, your poem was short and sweet. great job dude.

i feel quite silent, but there's some urgency awakened in me.
i want to be able to see my parents in heaven.
i must be able to see my parents in heaven.
God help me

i love you mom

i love you mom.
you're my friend.
i want to be just like you

the sticker boys are gone!

looks kinda larger than normal

that's because the temperature scanners are gone.

they stopped sticking stickers on us 3 days ago so it was kinda expected i guess.
well i'm happy.

no1) they're useless. they hardly turn away anyone. my colleague running a high fever and looking terribly sick got past them. once, my foreign patient complained that one of the sticker girls took off her N95 mask just to sneeze a HUGE one, then put it back on.Diao~

that's what i call them, sticker boys/girls. they are probably students doing part time word, cos they dress like students. i don't expect them to wear suits or scrubs, but there's no need to look like you're going clubbing. and they act like students too, fooloing around with the laptops which are connected to the thermal scanners, doodling on the stickers... sigh.... this is mount e. famous for being 'atas'. and these are the first staff the patients and visitors see when they step in.

no2) the door can be used again!!!

no need to make one BIG round just to get to paragon.
on the other hand, i haven't been sent to Paragon on errands for quite a while. since there're less patients (fasting for muslims and 7mth for the Chinese), things in the clinic have kinda slowed. instead, i spend most of the day at the comp.


at home, i'm forever at the comp, now at work i'm at the comp. eye rings getting worse sia~

the reason izzzz.... Esther/jock mai (gosh, getting rather connfused) convinced me that learning how to manage a clinic could get me futher (the health minister was a clinic manager) than learning the actual medical stuff. meaning instead of seeing actual innards, i'm looking at pictured of them now. i have to suppress my curiosity to not try to understand every medical term i come across, so that i can have my time to crunch numbers about the $$$.

i took Econs/Math/ Chem/ Phy in TPJC. Majored in Chem minored in Econs in NUS.
the perfect combinations for clinic management as it turns out.
i din plan it that way.
i only chose them because i like those subjects slightly more than the rest.

God is amazing.

Live fast die fun

i've decided to go for it.

and i'm not gonna tell anyone until i've got it.

it would probably take me half a year, cost about $500, give me a couple of bruises and burns.
but when i get it,,,,

WHOOOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




Audry and i tryin hats during our ATAS shoppin



sling- tired

Lets talk about sex

Alpha males telling each other about how much they're 'getting', the good, the bad, and the downright n.a.s.t.y... well, that's not really surprising to me. Alpha females sharing the unsharables... well.. erm.. i sit quietly and do my stuff, but inside i'm thinking: is this typical non-Christian female conversation?

Fathers teach their kids rubbish. Otosan's fantastic reply to "where do babies come from?"

When you marry, you'd take a boat together to see a man who lives on a far away island. On a pillar table beside him sits a huge bowl full of eggs the size of gumballs. He will ask you, 'girl or boy?'. If you reply 'girl', he'd put a pink egg in your outstretched hands. If you reply 'boy', he'd give you a blue one. Then you take it home and plant it.

at that point, I believed him.

kids usually find out about the birds and the bees fast from their friends or through the internet. but since i was not the friendly sort, i was blissfully ignorant.

i remember in Pri 3, i was sketching a picture of William Farquhar when one of the popular girls came up to me:

"Who's that?"
"William Farquhar"
"What's his surname?"
"Farquhar"
"Can you just say the front part?"
"Farq"

She went away proudly to her sniggering clique, while i went back to my drawing, thinking: what e heck was so funny about 'farq'

in Sec 3, i finally found out. and it was only because i asked my best friend Kat what our friend meant by saying that he was going to 'fly kite'.

as if to make up for lost time, so many people around me are talking about sex! Grah~ i must seem like some kind of pervertic weirdo, the wat i keep dictionary.com-ing the meaning og the those dirty words they use. and now that i know... well,, i still hope they'd stop. Its weird.

stapled an accidental tear on my skirt, gothic.... i LOVE it!!!

whenever i leave my blog, means something is starting to go wrong. and when i come back, means its already horribly horribly wrong and i'm just looking for a place to pour out to.

i'm alone at home now and frankly i'm panicking. i feel my life is so aimless.
when i panic i eat, and i started on food challenges again, much to the dismay of yuki n frenz...

its now day 5 and for e first time in my life, i'm sick n tired of eating.

so now i'm desperate for comfort. for distraction.

but i dont wanna be a burden to those already so busy and so burdened. n besides, i'm supposed to help, not be helped. in church, among frenz, at work, at home, n the list goes on.

with my cocky attitude, sharp tongue, and carefree smile,,,,,but inside, i sit here wishing for a 'everything's-gonna-be-alright-cos-i-am-here' hug.

its times like these when i forget my ego and just want to be held. its times like these when i wait for the impossible call, the impossible knock at the door, the non-existent arms that would calm this whirlwind in me.

i can call instead of wait. but at least waiting, i can imagine that it just m.i.g.h.t. come. i'd sound pathetic over the phone, asking him to make the trip here just to hug me! he wont come anyway, who am i to him.

k, at least i've calmed down a little. 15 min and tution time anyway... sigh~ need to appear confident again.

lilium

been neglecting my keyboard in favor of other more "exciting" instruments lately. but you cant play lilium on the guitar or bass without sounding pretty too funked up. just like you cant play opera on the guitar or bass.

the song's in latin and is pretty much from Psalms and the epistle of James.

Os iusti meditabitur sapientiam
Et lingua eius loqueter indicium

Beatus vir qui suffert tentationem
Quoniqmcum probates fuerit accipient coronam vitae

Kyrie, ignis, divine, eleison
O quam sancta Quam serena
Quam benigna Quam amoena
O castitas Lilium!


The mouth of the just shall meditate wisdom
And his language shall be clear

Blessed is he who suffers temptation
Since he, with striving, shall receive the crown of life

Lord, fire divine, have mercy
Oh how sacred How serene
How benevolent How lovely
Oh, lily of purity!
Lilium Elfen Lied

i'm flirting with the bass, flinging with the guitar, but in the end, my heart still belongs with the piano :P

smaller boobs pls

where i work at, boobs are an everyday topic. and no, not in a kinky sense. its a hospital clinic k. think breast cancer awareness.

but i do hear often of ladies who want them bigger. and for friends who ask me, i tell them to eat more. seriously. kei asked me that day if i had 'grown', i told her its where all the noodles and rice seem to go to.

i'm voluptuous and i'm cool with that. but i'm not so cool when guys are more interested in my figure than in what i say. its like heloooo~ *tilt my head down to match their gaze level*

or when my athletic abilities are questioned becos of the way i look.

so, smaller boobs will be nice. but how e heck does one accomplish tt? tryin to eat less but not really succeeding. raargh, i don wanna look like some bimbo!

carbo queen

while eating dinner, catching up on the news and talking to myself, i suddenly thought: i eat so much and still people think i dont eat just cos i like eating alone and i'm not fat.

they'll question me like "so what did you eat for lunch?" "u sure?" "i think kimi does not eat at all"

WTH.

so here's an example of my dinner:

i had finished the pot of tofu soup and was already half way thru the noodle mountain...


rice + the bit of soup left.


mom hid the maggi mee, but i found it. so thats next.


maggi takes 5 min in microwave to be really soggy so in the mean while... another bowl of plain rice

other barang barang like fishballs and vege and peanuts, not worth taking photo.

maggi is addictive, had another one


admittedly, its a little more than normal, cos i was in a gorging mood. but yeah.


dessert on my bed..

box of nougats, thanx EC!

only like the crunchy ones tho, kei likes the soft ones, 'll pass her them later :)

so there. i prefer to eat alone. having ppl around distracts me from savoring every bite.

RP more important than mambo... yeah

me in the clinic:
"dr H is fully booked today"
"cannot squeeze in ar?"
" sorry, really cannot...Dr H schedule really packed..."
"i come all the way you know!"
"how about next week?"
"har... today can?"
"really cannot, dr H got blah blah blah.."

me on my hp:
"i'm meeting the RP ppl, then promised a fren to help him with his Japanese"
"after that mambo la!"
"that'll be 11++pm, cannot lar"
"vee boyfriend coming you know"
"sorry my schedule really packed..."
"change leh, change leh, mambo eh"
"how about next week?"
"har... tonight la"
"too late notice, cannot... blah blah...."

its like my phone dialogue doesn't change.
sling-kinda-thing thinks that i should make it a rule for friends to book appointments with me.... nt bad idea sia~
sorry lar, sling n yuki, really too short notice, mambo next week k :)

just came back from helping Kenn catch up with his Japanese schoolwork. really dead beat.

btw, HAPPI quarter centuary BIRTHDAY GION~ ONONONONON!!!

i realized that i have no idea who reads my blog.

take for example, the me kayaking at lower seletar with RP. i've mentioned it a dozen times in here but still call it a secret. cos yuki can still ask me why i so burnt. obviously he stopped reading when i got lazy with my postings a few mths back.

means i can say crappy things about him here eh. hmmm...... ahahah.

so the tpssc gang doesn't come here (jimbo maybe heh) ... edamame gang also.... np gang also.... RP won be bothered... bsf family also... nus-fellas... ASE, nop (linn they all so noisy, sure will know if they come)...

many many 猪狗朋友, but those i see dont seem to bother with blogs.

so who are those in my stat counter?

shiok view from my balcony, rain or shine...

han-something

many months ago i had a dream, i was getting married, that very day.
i was put in a white gown and was inside this Elizabethan hotel. i panicked, and ran. i knew the groom, he's a nice person. it was a horrible dream and i was glad to wake up.

yesterday i had a dream, i was getting married, that very day.
apparently it was a chinese dinner wedding so it wasnt fully commital (i know it does not make sense).
it was arranged, i had no idea who the groom was.
i wore a white dress, i spilled brown tea on it.
i said ok, but still panicked and ran.
i hid at the patio at the front of the hall.
a kid saw me, so i said "could you call the groom over here?"

and he did. trying not to fall off the v. small patio, i said "hi"

he said "hi".

"you ok?"

i nodded. somewhere in between, i guess i warmed.

the guests were leaving, failed wedding but nice dinner.
i met him at the entrance. so there we were in an embrace, kind of a slow dance, with the the guests walking past us. they smiled, not so failed afterall.

he wasn't tall, nor dark nor strikingly handsome. he was nice. youngish, little on the lean side. fair, black longish fringe hair. i don't remember him being funny or talented, but i remember him feeling warm.

i dont remember his name except that it was han-something.

somewhere, i knew i would wake up. but i din want to. cos that would be admitting that he's not real. han-something is not real. but i wanted him to be.

in any case, the red and mahogany ballroom disappeared. han-something's , shoulder was replaced by my pillow.

i turned away from the sunlight and close my eyes, trying to remember han-something. he has got to be real. god, pls pls make him real.

i'm typing this cos i dont want to forget. you can say its ridiculous to love someone who's not real, but why not?

anikin is the one thats not real. the good friend that i made him out to be, he's not real. the decent, misunderstood, mature guy. thats not real. i can call him by a dozen different names, never using his real name, cos deepdown, i know he's not real. and i dont think i want the real him.

so i want han-something.
i'm gonna sleep on the floor again, laptop on, with my pink pillow and white top.
pls pls, let me have part 2 with han-x.

Elfen Lied

i dont know how i could have missed reading this manga.

stumbled upon the trailer on you tube by chance and got so hooked on it, been glued to the comp since thurs evening, watching all 13 episodes and then reading all 12 books of it.

jimbo, you'd like this.



this pretty much shows you what you're in for : gore and nudity

the style is... v. diverse. think eva + chobits + love hina or perhaps kill bill, anime style

The Diclonius are a species of evolved humans with two horns and vectors, transparent arms that have the power to manipulate and cut objects within their reach. they are mainly held in an experimental facility, but one, Lucy, escapes.
she loses her memory and meets Kohta and Yuka and they call her 'Nyu' and live together.

A Diclonius named Nana and a soldiers, are sent to hunt down Lucy. However, Lucy and her cold characteristics have not yet faded away; whenever she hits her head or is confronted with violence, she reverts to her sadistic side and makes transitions between her two personalities throughout the series.

there's so much more to the story line which touches on human sadism, casual beatings, child sexual abuse, animal cruelty, cruel experimentation and outright killing

One of the most prevalent motifs of the series is the humanity of the Diclonius, especially contrasted against the inhumanity of ordinary people.

One reviewer described the series as "devoted to quite a few of the darker, more callous factors of human nature"


trailer of the 2005 anime using the theme song Lilium

Lilium is sooo beautifully, gothicly, solumn~

as in most cases, the manga and anime have v different endings. manga having more closure and anime being more cryptic. its a tough fight for this one cos both are beautiful endings.

this is what great manga/anime is. no offense but naruto, bleach, etc. cant come close to the sheer art of Elfien Lied.