the Tea Bag story

whewf.... nothing beats the feeling of lying on your own bed!
the ASE womens retreat was... well... fantastic actually.
but i was scared of God's voice.
i know i'm running away from Him.
i want Him, i need Him, but i dont know why i am running AWAY from Him!!!
argh...
will have to review my notes and spend sometime this week in quiet to... well... realize what He really meant...

spent most of my time pondering on the Tea Bag story...
its a story of how we are all teeny lipton bags.
and God wants our essence. but it is so hard.
so hard to peel away piece by piece of extra baggage
so that we offer ourselves to Him, completely unhindered


me {still very worldly}

me, without my outer self --- {argh!!!! so hard to give up !!!!}
my cute mp3
my personal assistant
my wardrobe of shorts and tees
my cash and cards
my hair
my slim figure
my dancer's neck and hands.......

me, without my identity --- {erm.. a bit alot to throw...}
teacher
cell leader
DL
child
girlfriend
sister
canoeist
musician
friend
team member.......

Me, without my strings (dreams) --- { super hard for an egoist like me :'( }
being the best canoeist
achieving perfect A students
being the fastest runner in the group
making the best music in the group
getting attention from ppl i want attention from...

Me, without my past (hurts and trials) ---
{ i'm someone who clings on to memories... they make me who i am...}
canoeing
Anikin...

me, without Me
{when can i ever get to a point where i acknowledge that to live is Christ and to die is gain?}

i'm smiling like an idiot as i type this...
i'm thinking: God knows i'm running, blocking His voice. He's not going to shout. He's patiently waiting for me to be ready.

God is such a gentleman