lilium

been neglecting my keyboard in favor of other more "exciting" instruments lately. but you cant play lilium on the guitar or bass without sounding pretty too funked up. just like you cant play opera on the guitar or bass.

the song's in latin and is pretty much from Psalms and the epistle of James.

Os iusti meditabitur sapientiam
Et lingua eius loqueter indicium

Beatus vir qui suffert tentationem
Quoniqmcum probates fuerit accipient coronam vitae

Kyrie, ignis, divine, eleison
O quam sancta Quam serena
Quam benigna Quam amoena
O castitas Lilium!


The mouth of the just shall meditate wisdom
And his language shall be clear

Blessed is he who suffers temptation
Since he, with striving, shall receive the crown of life

Lord, fire divine, have mercy
Oh how sacred How serene
How benevolent How lovely
Oh, lily of purity!
Lilium Elfen Lied

i'm flirting with the bass, flinging with the guitar, but in the end, my heart still belongs with the piano :P

smaller boobs pls

where i work at, boobs are an everyday topic. and no, not in a kinky sense. its a hospital clinic k. think breast cancer awareness.

but i do hear often of ladies who want them bigger. and for friends who ask me, i tell them to eat more. seriously. kei asked me that day if i had 'grown', i told her its where all the noodles and rice seem to go to.

i'm voluptuous and i'm cool with that. but i'm not so cool when guys are more interested in my figure than in what i say. its like heloooo~ *tilt my head down to match their gaze level*

or when my athletic abilities are questioned becos of the way i look.

so, smaller boobs will be nice. but how e heck does one accomplish tt? tryin to eat less but not really succeeding. raargh, i don wanna look like some bimbo!

carbo queen

while eating dinner, catching up on the news and talking to myself, i suddenly thought: i eat so much and still people think i dont eat just cos i like eating alone and i'm not fat.

they'll question me like "so what did you eat for lunch?" "u sure?" "i think kimi does not eat at all"

WTH.

so here's an example of my dinner:

i had finished the pot of tofu soup and was already half way thru the noodle mountain...


rice + the bit of soup left.


mom hid the maggi mee, but i found it. so thats next.


maggi takes 5 min in microwave to be really soggy so in the mean while... another bowl of plain rice

other barang barang like fishballs and vege and peanuts, not worth taking photo.

maggi is addictive, had another one


admittedly, its a little more than normal, cos i was in a gorging mood. but yeah.


dessert on my bed..

box of nougats, thanx EC!

only like the crunchy ones tho, kei likes the soft ones, 'll pass her them later :)

so there. i prefer to eat alone. having ppl around distracts me from savoring every bite.

RP more important than mambo... yeah

me in the clinic:
"dr H is fully booked today"
"cannot squeeze in ar?"
" sorry, really cannot...Dr H schedule really packed..."
"i come all the way you know!"
"how about next week?"
"har... today can?"
"really cannot, dr H got blah blah blah.."

me on my hp:
"i'm meeting the RP ppl, then promised a fren to help him with his Japanese"
"after that mambo la!"
"that'll be 11++pm, cannot lar"
"vee boyfriend coming you know"
"sorry my schedule really packed..."
"change leh, change leh, mambo eh"
"how about next week?"
"har... tonight la"
"too late notice, cannot... blah blah...."

its like my phone dialogue doesn't change.
sling-kinda-thing thinks that i should make it a rule for friends to book appointments with me.... nt bad idea sia~
sorry lar, sling n yuki, really too short notice, mambo next week k :)

just came back from helping Kenn catch up with his Japanese schoolwork. really dead beat.

btw, HAPPI quarter centuary BIRTHDAY GION~ ONONONONON!!!

i realized that i have no idea who reads my blog.

take for example, the me kayaking at lower seletar with RP. i've mentioned it a dozen times in here but still call it a secret. cos yuki can still ask me why i so burnt. obviously he stopped reading when i got lazy with my postings a few mths back.

means i can say crappy things about him here eh. hmmm...... ahahah.

so the tpssc gang doesn't come here (jimbo maybe heh) ... edamame gang also.... np gang also.... RP won be bothered... bsf family also... nus-fellas... ASE, nop (linn they all so noisy, sure will know if they come)...

many many 猪狗朋友, but those i see dont seem to bother with blogs.

so who are those in my stat counter?

shiok view from my balcony, rain or shine...

han-something

many months ago i had a dream, i was getting married, that very day.
i was put in a white gown and was inside this Elizabethan hotel. i panicked, and ran. i knew the groom, he's a nice person. it was a horrible dream and i was glad to wake up.

yesterday i had a dream, i was getting married, that very day.
apparently it was a chinese dinner wedding so it wasnt fully commital (i know it does not make sense).
it was arranged, i had no idea who the groom was.
i wore a white dress, i spilled brown tea on it.
i said ok, but still panicked and ran.
i hid at the patio at the front of the hall.
a kid saw me, so i said "could you call the groom over here?"

and he did. trying not to fall off the v. small patio, i said "hi"

he said "hi".

"you ok?"

i nodded. somewhere in between, i guess i warmed.

the guests were leaving, failed wedding but nice dinner.
i met him at the entrance. so there we were in an embrace, kind of a slow dance, with the the guests walking past us. they smiled, not so failed afterall.

he wasn't tall, nor dark nor strikingly handsome. he was nice. youngish, little on the lean side. fair, black longish fringe hair. i don't remember him being funny or talented, but i remember him feeling warm.

i dont remember his name except that it was han-something.

somewhere, i knew i would wake up. but i din want to. cos that would be admitting that he's not real. han-something is not real. but i wanted him to be.

in any case, the red and mahogany ballroom disappeared. han-something's , shoulder was replaced by my pillow.

i turned away from the sunlight and close my eyes, trying to remember han-something. he has got to be real. god, pls pls make him real.

i'm typing this cos i dont want to forget. you can say its ridiculous to love someone who's not real, but why not?

anikin is the one thats not real. the good friend that i made him out to be, he's not real. the decent, misunderstood, mature guy. thats not real. i can call him by a dozen different names, never using his real name, cos deepdown, i know he's not real. and i dont think i want the real him.

so i want han-something.
i'm gonna sleep on the floor again, laptop on, with my pink pillow and white top.
pls pls, let me have part 2 with han-x.

Elfen Lied

i dont know how i could have missed reading this manga.

stumbled upon the trailer on you tube by chance and got so hooked on it, been glued to the comp since thurs evening, watching all 13 episodes and then reading all 12 books of it.

jimbo, you'd like this.



this pretty much shows you what you're in for : gore and nudity

the style is... v. diverse. think eva + chobits + love hina or perhaps kill bill, anime style

The Diclonius are a species of evolved humans with two horns and vectors, transparent arms that have the power to manipulate and cut objects within their reach. they are mainly held in an experimental facility, but one, Lucy, escapes.
she loses her memory and meets Kohta and Yuka and they call her 'Nyu' and live together.

A Diclonius named Nana and a soldiers, are sent to hunt down Lucy. However, Lucy and her cold characteristics have not yet faded away; whenever she hits her head or is confronted with violence, she reverts to her sadistic side and makes transitions between her two personalities throughout the series.

there's so much more to the story line which touches on human sadism, casual beatings, child sexual abuse, animal cruelty, cruel experimentation and outright killing

One of the most prevalent motifs of the series is the humanity of the Diclonius, especially contrasted against the inhumanity of ordinary people.

One reviewer described the series as "devoted to quite a few of the darker, more callous factors of human nature"


trailer of the 2005 anime using the theme song Lilium

Lilium is sooo beautifully, gothicly, solumn~

as in most cases, the manga and anime have v different endings. manga having more closure and anime being more cryptic. its a tough fight for this one cos both are beautiful endings.

this is what great manga/anime is. no offense but naruto, bleach, etc. cant come close to the sheer art of Elfien Lied.

look at the black glass

was transiting at cityhall on my way to the clinic. i tend to look down, esp while waiting for the train. something was different tho...

notice anything missing?

where're the yellow lines? the funnel like sign on the floor and the arrow in the middle of it?

i figured that i'd find out sooner or later so my mind wandered to the people around. to the reflection of myself in the glass panels. it had been a while since i saw myself.
i freely use the word narcissistic, vain, cam whore... but i dont really look at myself that often.

i liked what i saw in the dark glass tho. ballet flats, beige pants, white tank and pearl earrings. good, i look warm yet professional.
but i dont feel warm nor professional. its for the patients. its a look.

you can stalk me with chocs anytime

.... just after my yesterday's post... about guys who are too shy to say hi...

... sigh~, why leave it at the doorstep?

oh well, its ALMOND ROCA...! its like a box of gold nuggets, my fave in the chocolate/caramel category

so, thanx David, tho i really dont think thats your real name. i wont reply your letter cos, erm... i dont even know you so its weird. and you dont know me so dont jump to silly conclusions by just overhearing my conversation with my fren.

if you do see this post, just know i enjoyed the Roca alot :)

just the right amount for a mid-night pleasure~


20 min later...


45 min later...

DJ Ian & me sitting by the pool

bumped into my kinda-neighbour DJ Ian just as i finished my jog so we went to chill by the pool. catch up with each other and our 'happening ' lives.

that idiot thot i got pregnant cos i looked so pudgy!!! still dare to disbelieve me when i claimed the V-word. if i not so tired, would have shoved you into the pool.

Ian Tan has a way of being a listening ear to me as i complain about the affairs of the heart. being a person who is sooo much like me, practical but foolish at heart, he can understand the feeling of knowing the stupidity in something, but going ahead anyway becos it puts a smile on your face even if its only for a while.

part of my complain:

why do guys have to go one biiiiiiiigg round, thru facebook, thru frenz, thru mail box (yes, conventional mail) to intro themselves?

i was at the party/ gym/ gathering for hours, y wait until so much later?

guys who have the boldness to approach get immediate points. cos i know its not easy, i'm loud, i'm blur, and more often then not, i'm surrounded by protective friends.

so Ian asked what kind of guy i liked: (pls take it with a pinch of salt)

• i'm a go getter, so my guy has to top that. he's got to know what he wants and fight for it. if i'm worth it, fight. if not, dont bother starting.
• i'm cheeky, my guy has to top that.
• i'm fit, my guy has to top that.
  
• i trust in the Bible and Christ, my guy has to equal that.

boost me up!

i need energy. and the absurd thing is that the more energy i spend, the more tired i am, the less solid food i can take. i'll be drinking a can of coke every couple of hours, having protein shakes during lunch and making my noodles and rice as soggy and mooshy as possible for dinner.

my colostrum and energy pills, just started taking them again.

p/s, the big one is my pill case

colostrum

• strengthens immune system (swine flu)
  
• improves and protects against allergy (i'm allergic to prawns)
  
• promotes wound healing (sports recovery)
  
• improves nutrient absorption, increases bone mass
  
• protect against free-radicals (sun)

the brown ones just make my body better use its resources for energy.

really need them... was like sniffing all afternoon, which is BAD!!! cos...

mount E's flu check

yeah, it's started.

i'm NOT SICK btw... the aircon is just too cold. i get cold easily.
but of cos patients dont know that, so if i sniff they'd think i'm infected. so must control.

out of my 4 tuition boys, 3 kena flu and postponed tuition!
think its exam stress tho...
my immune system is very power so it'll have to be the genuine swine flu if i am to fall ill.

but choi choi choi! i've got too much on my schedule to be able to afford being quarantined!
k, gonna jog now, tata :)

stupid stupid stupid

you're so stupid.


i'm here, and you're soo stupid!


dumb. woodenheaded.

あんたバカ!

.i'm so stupid.

otosan's 55

today Dr Hong not in clinic so i have the day off! which is perfect cos its otosan's bday :)

supposed to visit the S.A.M. (singapore art museum for those blur ppl), bbbbuuuuttttt.....

swine flu form, note qn 6 i friggin work at mount E! raargh. so thats it. am i gonna be refused entry at other places in time to come? crappy but no choice, dun wanna lie about it just to see a few paintings.

seriously tho, i'm not scared. the only asian case as of now is not even an asian. hope it ends soon and not cripple the already crappy economy.

so went swensen's instead.

topless 5, 7.90

chose sticky choco mix, yummy raisin, chocolate peanut buttercup, pistachio almond and lime sherbet. but realized that the color combi was really poor!

verdict: sticky choco, rum n raisin, and penut rox heavy! pistacho almond was too almondy. lime sorbet is really nice but somehow doesn't go with the creamyness of the others.

seafood lasagna 13.90

absolutely sinful

sirloin steak 20.90

the correct portion size = a deck of cards. bingo. other places over serve.

ribeye steak 22.50

i prefer the sirloin to rib eye... but then again, i'm not a meat person, i prefer carbo.

gtg, kenneth's here for tuition. raargh, tuitioning OT cos of the mid terms.

Angel (sarah McLachlan)

Spend all your time waiting For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay

There�s always one reason To feel not good enough
And it�s hard at the end of the day

I need some distraction Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins

Let me be empty And weightless and maybe
I�ll find some peace tonight

heard that mabel and fabian are back together again. its probably old news but its news. cos they were dating when we all were in TKSS, den they broke up, and had their own happenings, and a decade later, i hear they're back.

and i know that many are counting on that for fu wen n i.

time heals, and that kinda sucks actually. cos it means that memories fade, and you dont really miss each other anymore. it becomes normal to not be at each other's family gatherings, normal to not know whats happening in each other's lives. normal to not tell each other things, sad things, even happy things.

i can wear the stuff he gave me without thinking about him, go the places we used to go, do the things we used to do, hardly reminiscing. maybe i just learned to shut the thoughts somewhere cos they're useless, or maybe i'm hard hearted.

some say that i dumped him, that i'm commitment phobic and he wanted to settle down. they can say whatever they want.

and certainly, there are alot of rascals who are going all out with the nonsense stories. judging by the average rumour, i seem to be a very happening wildchild.

admittedly, there are SOME with basis, but it amuses me to keep them guessing. i like being cryptic.

when kimi ran

RP training at lower seletar

very very dumb thing happened.
was thinking of staying the day to help the RP team out with their new junior batch. chatting with sihan, alan, hanting and lala (the other lala)... den suddenly

" hey, its amanda"

i din even think, ran into the shed, grabbed my bag and ran off.

dunnoe why lar, still avoiding confrontation i guess.

gotta come out soon tho... RP is gonna be training in Macrit by 20th may. they can say that the timing will not be the same as NUS or the nat team but yeah, sure will bump into them sooner or later.

is that bad? what am i afraid of? i dont know, i just know i'm happy just the way things are right now, with no connection to the past or future at all.

sally's housewarming

sally's back row, second from left.

just came back from sally's house warming. surreal feeling. the NP gang, sitting in her new home, at AMK, looking at her wedding dress...

we've known each other for like 12 years? since sec 1. half our lives!
n now one of us has... well... settled.

(photos coming soon, see facebook)


when ever i meet my NP gang, its like a different world altogether. for one, i talk nonstop. we all talk NONSTOP. in CHINESE!!!

if not for you guys, my chinese would suck worse. i almost forgot how i can talk 200 words a min in (quite good) 中文.

sooo love you, connie, qiu jing, lai lin, sally, liang zhong, kuah, pek...
and those who were not there... Y NEVER COME?!?!?!?!??