i was put in a white gown and was inside this Elizabethan hotel. i panicked, and ran. i knew the groom, he's a nice person. it was a horrible dream and i was glad to wake up.
yesterday i had a dream, i was getting married, that very day.
apparently it was a chinese dinner wedding so it wasnt fully commital (i know it does not make sense).
it was arranged, i had no idea who the groom was.
i wore a white dress, i spilled brown tea on it.
i said ok, but still panicked and ran.
i hid at the patio at the front of the hall.
a kid saw me, so i said "could you call the groom over here?"
and he did. trying not to fall off the v. small patio, i said "hi"
he said "hi".
"you ok?"
i nodded. somewhere in between, i guess i warmed.
the guests were leaving, failed wedding but nice dinner.
i met him at the entrance. so there we were in an embrace, kind of a slow dance, with the the guests walking past us. they smiled, not so failed afterall.
i dont remember his name except that it was han-something.
somewhere, i knew i would wake up. but i din want to. cos that would be admitting that he's not real. han-something is not real. but i wanted him to be.
in any case, the red and mahogany ballroom disappeared. han-something's , shoulder was replaced by my pillow.
i turned away from the sunlight and close my eyes, trying to remember han-something. he has got to be real. god, pls pls make him real.
i'm typing this cos i dont want to forget. you can say its ridiculous to love someone who's not real, but why not?
anikin is the one thats not real. the good friend that i made him out to be, he's not real. the decent, misunderstood, mature guy. thats not real. i can call him by a dozen different names, never using his real name, cos deepdown, i know he's not real. and i dont think i want the real him.
so i want han-something.
i'm gonna sleep on the floor again, laptop on, with my pink pillow and white top.
pls pls, let me have part 2 with han-x.
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